My Soliloquy

What a week this has been. There has been a lot happening. I feel like I’m spinning around in circles, but I think it’s more that just my mind is spinning is circles as I try to process everything. I’ll spend a few minutes thinking about one thing, which brings on another thought, and that thought leads to another thought and it just keeps coming like that until I get back to my original thought. I need to figure out a way to slow my thoughts down. I was recently reading in this book about the importance of being in the “now” or being “present” and I realized that I am not very often present. My mind is always on something else. I think my psyche thinks that if I just think about something enough everything will become clear, or maybe it’s more that if I don’t think about something enough then it will never be resolved, or I won’t be prepared enough to face something. The latter is probably more the case. This is how it is in school especially. If I have a test, I am able to think about nothing else. It’s like I always feel the need to be in a constant state of preparation, even if there is nothing beg to prepare for. i just never feel like I’m ready enough for anything.
I realize my thoughts might be hard to follow right now, but that is probably because I am thinking of so many things at the moment. I always feel the need to think about something; to problem solve. Sadly I am really bad at actually problem solving, so I think about problems, but very seldom get anything resolved.
This is just a little frustrating to me. I need to work on this. There is benefit in being prepared for something, but I think I tend to take it too far, and become practically consumed in being prepared enough.