My Soliloquy

As someone who has spent her whole life watching circles – I just want to encourage you – they aren’t “all that” (even if everyone seems to think they are) — and I agree with you, triangles are much cooler. I know I’m probably not quite what you’re looking for in a triangle buddy (being entirely too old and nowhere near your social circle) at least you can know that it is possible to be completely separate from circles and be happy. I’m so thankful for the sisters God has given me – we make a pretty great triangle despite our age differences – I’ve never really considered our ages – you two are awesome women. For all the “friends” I’ve had through the years (always triangle type friends) – my closest ones God has given me in family — and I’ve discovered that there’s nothing wrong with that. The idea that your friends must be separate from your family circle is fairly new in human existence anyway – one of the effects of public education really. I was lucky enough to marry someone who prefers “triangles” to “circles” as well – and two outsiders together can be very happy (even if socializing together is complicated at times – most of the time we speak the same language). So even in going out and “making my own family” God has provided what He knows is best for me. It helps to remember that Jesus was the type who understood what it was to be “alone in a crowd” — He would take His time apart for prayer — and it was His strength. Even within a “triangle” you’ll find that you won’t be completely satisfied by any human friendship. That hunger for closeness, that desire to be completely known and accepted by someone — that’s only filled by Jesus. Those of us who yearn for that more than others always feel a little alone – separate – different from everyone else — that’s why from the beginning there were some people who would leave the world and join themselves to Christ with their entire lives — the women going so far as to set themselves apart as spouses of Christ (meaning they give themselves body and soul, leaving behind the good things of this world to live as if they are already in Heaven with Him). Ultimately, the hunger and longing some of us feel so deeply, paired with that “separateness” – it’s kind of like an invitation from Jesus – where He is drawing you ever closer to Him – because nothing else will satisfy… and even that longing isn’t completely satisfied until we’re with Him in Heaven. I guess those of us on the outside are actually given quite the Gift – we’ll never be more attracted to the world than we are to Heaven…